What to Expect at an Italian Wedding

Italian weddings center on family, food and a generous celebration. They run from a civil or religious ceremony to a reception meal that can last several hours and stretch past midnight, with plenty of good food, wine and company. Italian wedding traditions vary by region. A Sicilian wedding looks quite different from a Tuscan or a Milanese one, though family, food and dancing are present throughout. This guide covers what guests can expect at an Italian wedding, from ceremony customs and the confetti (candy-coated almonds) tradition to the reception meal and the late-night celebrations.

La Serenata is a pre-wedding tradition in which the groom serenades the bride outside her home the night before the wedding. In modern weddings it sometimes turns into a party outside the bride's window with musicians, friends and plenty of wine. The Confetti are not the paper kind. At Italian weddings, confetti are sugar-coated almonds given to guests as favors. Five almonds stand for five wishes for the couple: health, wealth, happiness, fertility and long life. They are given in odd numbers because odd numbers cannot be divided, like the couple's bond. Bomboniere are the small gift boxes or bags that hold the confetti and a small memento of the wedding. Every guest receives one. La Tarantella is a lively folk dance in which guests form a circle and dance faster and faster as the music speeds up, until people are laughing and stumbling. It is often the moment the party really gets going. The Busta is the envelope in which gifts of cash are traditionally given at the reception. The amount should cover the cost of your meal at minimum, plus whatever more your relationship to the couple warrants. The religious ceremony is typically Catholic, held in a church, and includes a full mass with communion. It can last 45 to 60 minutes. The bride traditionally arrives last, often escorted by her father, and a late arrival is expected.

Pace yourself, because the Italian wedding meal is long. A typical order is antipasti (appetizers, often served as a standing course), primo (a pasta course), secondo (meat or fish), contorni (vegetable sides), dolce (dessert) and then the wedding cake. Some weddings add a fruit and cheese course between the secondo and the dolce. You may be eating for three to four hours, so start slowly with the antipasti to have room for the cake. Dress elegantly. Men usually wear well-tailored suits, and women wear formal dresses or elegant separates. Dressing well shows respect for the couple and the occasion. The party goes late. Italian wedding receptions often continue until midnight or later, with dancing, drinking and socializing, and coffee is served several times through the evening. Expect toasts and speeches, which tend to be personal and sometimes long. They are followed by cries of 'Evviva gli sposi' (long live the bride and groom) and a lot of glass clinking. The couple often leaves in a grand exit amid sparklers, confetti or both. Some traditions include the groom carrying the bride over the threshold of their new home.

Italian weddings are generous in food, wine and dancing. As a guest, you can eat well, dance with whoever asks and enjoy the hospitality. It is best not to eat a large lunch before an Italian wedding reception, because the meal is long and you will want to enjoy each course from the antipasti to the dolci. If you are planning your own Italian wedding, or combining Italian traditions with another culture, Elsker has a full Italian tradition guide with ceremony notes, reception checklists and regional variations.